Perfectionism has plagued me all of my life. God must have some big lessons to teach me this year.
It's day 10 of 2019. Here's a glimpse of my year so far:
- A vicious stomach bug that is still, in some way, lingering on in our household.
- A pile of laundry that has yet to be done from our Christmas vacation. (Yes, from the month of December ... last year.)
- A wreath hanging on the side of our house that still hasn't been put away. (Yes, I unplugged it so it no longer lights up.)
- A gaping hole in my lesson plan for preschool next week. (Why did I think it would be fun to teach preschoolers all about exercise?)
- 10 days so far this year, and I've opened my Bible three times and written in my prayer journal once. (But, I've cried out to Him on more than one occasion!)
- And, not to mention, I actually had to look up how to login to write this blog post. (I think my goal was a post a week. Yeah, life happens.)
I write all of this not to throw myself a pity party or to lay guilt upon myself ... I write all of this to remind myself that life isn't perfect. Things happen. Kids get sick. Decorations outlive their season. The beautiful plans for an awesome year of spiritual devotions get pushed aside.
Life isn't perfect. Friends, give yourself some grace. Your family still has clean clothes to wear. No one has called the HOA on your seasonal decor still hanging. The preschoolers will still have fun no matter what you decide to do. And that desire for a perfect devotional time each day ... it's not going to always happen. And do you know what? It's okay.
God is still in control. He loves you still. Your worth is not determined by how many times you open your prayer journal, whether or not you spend extended time in the Word, how many laundry piles are laying around your home, or how long your Christmas decorations stay up. Your worth is solely in Christ; rest on that truth on days when perfectionism creeps up and makes you doubt yourself.
My 2019 is off to a very imperfect start. But, I must be learning a lesson in giving myself some grace. After all, that laundry pile is still staring at me and I've yet to make a move towards the washing machine. Maybe tomorrow. Tonight, I'm going to open my Bible and be content with reading a few verses. Maybe I'll look some up on grace.